Here goes the ultimate product warning, which according to certain well-informed lawyers should be printed on every can of beans and on every product package.
Warning: care should be taken when looking at this product: It emits heat radiation. Bright light has the effect to compress this product.
Warning: care should be taken when touching this product: Part of it could heat up while another part cools down, causing severe burns.
Warning: care should be taken when handling this product: This product consists of at least 99.999 999 999 999 % empty space.
This product contains particlesmoving with speeds higher than one million kilometres per
hour.
Every kilogram of this product contains the same amount of energy as liberated by about
one hundred nuclear bombs.
In case this product is brought in contact with antimatter, a catastrophic explosion will
occur.
In case this product is rotated, it will emit gravitational radiation.
Warning: care should be taken when transporting this product: The force needed depends on its velocity, as does its weight. This product will emit additional radiation when accelerated.
This product attracts, with a force that increases with decreasing distance, every other object
around, including its purchaser’s kids.
Warning: care should be taken when storing this product: It is impossible to keep this product in a specific place and at rest at the same time.
Except when stored underground at a depth of several kilometres, over time cosmic radiation
will render this product radioactive.
This product may disintegrate in the next 1035 years.
It could cool down and lift itself into the air.
This product warps space and time in its vicinity, including the storage container.
Even if stored in a closed container, this product is influenced and influences all other
objects in the universe, including your parents in law.
This product can disappear from its present location and reappear at any random place in
the universe, including your neighbour’s garage.
Warning: care should be taken when travelling away from this product: It will arrive at the expiration date before the purchaser does so.
Warning: care should be taken when using this product: Any use whatsoever will increase the entropy of the universe.
The constituents of this product are exactly the same as those of any other object in the
universe, including those of rotten fish.
The impression of a certain paranoid side to quantum physics is purely coincidental.
(c) Christoph Schiller, MOTION MOUNTAIN, www.motionmountain.net
